Month: August 2021

Transition & Vision 

From Fear to Rejoicing by Meditating on God’s Promises

Fear and uncertainty can rule us when we don’t know how God will provide or lead in the next season in life. Satan’s lies can overwhelm us when we question if God is for us, and we get stuck in John Bunyan’s “Cage of Despair”, with the cell door unlocked.

I prayed desperately for weeks that God would give me guidance for the next step – if I could/should go against the flow, not get a job working for someone else, and pursue my dreams of building Kingdom business to be financially free and serve in Kingdom endeavors. At church: Acts13:3 – They sent the first missionaries only after fasting and praying. I realized I hadn’t even gone that far, hadn’t given the Lord that much effort or attention. So, I did a little fast and prayed.

The Lord led me, through the instruction of a God-fearing man, to ask what in my heart had I not surrendered to Him? I quickly realized that I was gripping tightly what I wanted and what I did not want. I said I was surrendered to God in my prayers but I only gave Him a lane to operate in with left and right limits, I hadn’t blown it wide open to full surrender – “anything, anywhere, here I am, send me Lord. I trust you.”

So, I prayed that. And it was scary, because I actually had to trust that He knew what was best, even if it was, “Go and become an employee somewhere,” which I despised the thought of. It seemed like a massive waste of my talents which I long to steward for the Kingdom. But it reminded me, real trust is only in full surrender. Even if it was, “Take your fam and go to KG”, or even if He called us to stay and have ministry in El Paso (which is Mexico on the US side of the border predominantly run by the Cartel). My heart finally said, whatever you want, Lord.

It all came down to surrender.

True foundational trust is rooted in full surrender. *

I saw ahead, one day soon when I’ll die, then stand before the King next to a massive bonfire, giving account of my stewardship of all that He gave me. Only what was done with/for Him didn’t burn. I cried out, “Make that my heart’s desire O Lord – to do fully and only what you call me to do with you!” I’d want a small fire that day. And then I asked Him to speak.

I lie down, couldn’t sleep because my heart was burning with words from the Holy Spirit: “For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth to give strong support to those whose heart is blameless toward Him.” 2 Chronicles 16:9! And, I saw a date in my Bible next to this verse 7 years ago, right before I transitioned into the Army. (Now transitioning out.) So, I asked Him for a blameless heart for the next 7. And He overwhelmingly assured me blamelessness does not equal perfection. I won’t be fully sanctified this side of death. My current status: Forgiven, pure, covered by the blood, blameless. My current life posture: Seeking. Full surrender. God fearing. He helped me see that, with regard to my will, “blameless” is a heart state of full surrender, not a state of perfection. Before the Father I’m already perfect by the cross.

And it hit me. My heart cried out, Oh, forgive me Lord, I have been dreaming so small, all I could see was my own financial freedom instead of fanning the fire I felt of your Spirit inside me to build Your Kingdom by building entities (business and ministries) that produce fruit for the Church for generations to come! I was like a child coming to my dad saying, “Please, please will you provide for us,” as if he were reluctantly withholding. And He was saying, “Why are asking so small son?” And I cried, hard. I saw that I didn’t ask big because I didn’t trust or believe Him, and I didn’t trust because my heart wasn’t in full surrender.

What He was saying was, “The Lord is able to give you much more than this!” 2 Chronicles 25:9 ESV

So, I said, “Father, in full surrender, I believe you.” I believe with Your strong support building business that furthers Your Kingdom is possible. Business that plants churches, that frees slaves of trafficking, poverty oppression, and pornography bondage. That funds Integrated and other Kingdom ventures. You have given me Your passion to bring Your gospel to life in business and Your Kingdom to entrepreneurs.

The next morning, I said to the Lord, I was pretty floored by our conversation yesterday. Please provide confirmation of all that. (Asking for dry wool on wet ground per se) I opened my devotions to 1 Thessalonians 5, which seemed to have nothing to do with all this. But at the end it says in verse 23

“May the God of peace sanctify you completely and may your whole spirit, and soul and body be kept blameless… He who calls you is faithful, He will do it!”

In other words: I just choose surrender. He sanctifies me, He makes me blameless, He gives me strong support, He is faithful, and He will make it happen!

(*I had the thought that in full surrender God doesn’t ask us to have a “blind faith”. He asks us to trust Him so completely that, with eyes wide open, we even trust Him with our blind spots. No matter how hard I look ahead and plan there is a lot I can’t see. I always have blind spots. Only in full surrender can I say I trust you Lord even with the things I can’t name yet.)