Author: jscott

Soul Help

Soul misses

After my father-in-law’s memorial service, I’m contemplating the inevitable misses in life, the cries for help, the absences at crucial junctures, the lack of voice – what I wish I would’ve noticed, where I wish I would have been, when I wish I could have heard another or held my tongue.  How drowning that can be!  …yet how redeeming to know God is orchestrating me.

Now that I know, I go

To places in the past I should have been, noticing faces that needed a touch, traces of sorrow unheeded, feelings ungreeted, unspoken questions seeded

To grow into ogres of thought that overshadow the truth that I sought, the love I fought for you.

Heaves of hind-sighted regrets, finding way for an undiscovered voice;

“It’s not as it should have been,” yet spliced

With reaches both ways, clarity and haze

Stillness of time bidding me stay; I cannot dwell in the powerful array

that holds in its mire.  So, I fight for you & me, as I see in new light what is becoming.

“We do not grieve as those without hope…” 1 Thess. 4:13

What “miss” in your past tries to hold you in its mire?

Soul Help

Soul Assault

 

“You’re…a mirage, an oasis in the distance and then nothing…”

Jeremiah to God (Jer. 15:18)

  About 600 years BC the Israelites had gone through all the motions of “religion” and were living just like the other nations, with all their pagan practices including sacrificing their children to another god. Reform had come but was only skin deep.  God had pleadingly given His people so many chances to turn.

In a most wrenching treatise of offense, God lets Jeremiah know He must stop the carnage, the entitlement, the flippancy.  (Jere. 2)  Jeremiah holds the warning before them and they scoff, they bully, they claim, “God is with us.”  And Jerusalem had no idea what was coming.

Jeremiah is done.  Angry, hurt and lonely.  No one listens.  He’s had so much come against him; bombarded with one thing after another.  You almost expect him to storm out and quit. But what does he do?

He comes bare and raw to the Lord.  He speaks his mind and to me it feels irreverent and accusatory.  He’s SO honest.  He brings all the reality, the mess, the sheer emotion without hiding or minimizing any of it.  And God is glad that he does. But he doesn’t leave him there.

“Prayer is a constant re-establishment of our priorities.”

Run with Horses, E Peterson, p.103

Our lives and circumstances throw all kinds of wrenches in our thinking, planning and dreaming.  God hears Jeremiah out; doesn’t squelch his outcry.  Perhaps He’s been waiting for the truth to come out, to be faced and owned. That’s when you get to the real core beliefs, the real wrestling, where names are changed.  We have to get there, but sometimes it takes years.

God’s patient response is not pandering because he knows what staying with those kinds of volatile emotions does to a person.  He’s out for our good.  He basically says, “I’m glad you came to Me.  I feel the same rejection and pain. This is heart wrenching.  I hear you and know how difficult it is.  But I also strengthen you for it. My plan is coming about. So, let’s return to your priorities… Your goal is not that they follow you, but you follow Me.  Return to Me.  (Jere. 15:19)

Our rock bottom goal is following our God.  Sometimes emotions, mild or fierce, are windows into what’s going on in us that’s unseen or maybe even unconscious.

  Have you let God in on your raw emotion to re-establish your priorities?  

Soul Help

Soul Slump?

January lends itself to soul slumps, it seems.  The inevitable overwhelm of things that need
to happen, and the underwhelm of motivation to make a move, or to prioritize,
all while wondering if any of it really matters.  We are funny creatures with our highs and
lows, our beauty and brutality, our needed-ness and our neediness. 

I remember someone profoundly saying in these situations, “Just do the next thing.”  And as obvious as that seems, it’s actually helpful as the fleeting flurry of festivities screeches into the jolting juncture of January.  (We just celebrated three of our kids’ weddings in the last 6 months, plus the holidays. Now that’s a jolting juncture!) 

So, my “Do the next thing(s)” today were

  • laundry, and being thankful for washer and drying rack.
  • answering a few important emails, and being thankful I can contribute to someone’s life in a positive way.
  • taking some alone moments to think, pray and acknowledge my soul slump and receive grace, wisdom and energy from above.

“…strengthened with all power, according to His glorious might, for the attaining of all steadfastness and patience; joyously giving thanks…”  Col. 1:11

And I slowly begin to straighten, my gaze turning upward.

Let yourself be where you are.  Then you can move from there.  Instead of begrudging the excess belly (or whatever your excess was), be glad you celebrated well and enjoyed it.  There’s a time for feasting!  And a time for getting back to enjoying temperance.

Soul Help

Soul Source

 

“…the things on earth stand next to Him like a candle to the sun! 

What compares to His great love?  Behold his holy Son…

The Word became a man that my soul should know its Savior. 

…Salvation is in his blood, Jesus Messiah!” 

Hillsong – “Behold” (Then sings my soul)

 

 

This piercing song deeply affected my spirit, skillfully ushering into my inner being living truth that transforms thoughts and intentions: God’s Spirit to my spirit and from there to my soul (mind, will, emotions) massaging, informing and releasing into the brain where the neuro stuff happens.  That’s where the actual result of what comes into my spirit flows out, from soul to brain to life.

 

Ephesians 4:23 “be renewed in the spirit of your mind…”  The spirit of your mind!? 

 

If THE Spirit is the chief informant for our spirit, we are on a good path.  If our spirits don’t have time or ears to be informed or sourced, we risk the outcome of a driven, overstressed lifestyle that denies the danger of overdoing our fight/flight/freeze hormones. We could eventually lose the ability to readily produce our well-being hormones.  So much so, that over time, a brain glutted with adrenaline overdose will seek anything that will give it a shot of a comfort hormone, which at that point will only come with greater risks and extremes.  Thus, the addictions, thrill seeking and phobias that are so rampant among us.  Our souls are being informed by our driven-ness rather than by our Designer.

 

My spirit was inadvertently informed by a song full of His Word and my mind is renewed, my heart is courageous to honor Him as I chose to believe Him today. My brain follows suit and the synapses trigger the neurons to carve a deeper path to positive action.  I face my circumstances with more freedom, expanded ideas, compassion and hope.

 

I am being renewed in the spirit of my mind!

 

How is your spirit being informed, so that your soul is sourced with truth and grace for real living?

 

 

Ideas from The Anxiety Cure, Dr. A. Hart

Soul Growth

Soul Challenge

 

My husband & I do a bit of an exercise regime most weekdays and during one online session the instructor said

“I want you to want to challenge yourself.”

 

In my early morning stupor, trying to just get through it, I was awakened to the thought, “Do I want to challenge myself?”  Heretofore sprung upon me the annoying realization that I would really rather not right now, thank you.  I’ll just float on through this workout.

 

Then my “committee of selves” quickly perked up and said “Now wait, who’s in charge here, the body or the will?”  And my inner self, trying not to listen then realized, I’m going to drift into something I do not want to be if I don’t stand up and make a choice here.  So, with the Spirit’s nudge and my husband’s eagerness, I took the challenge to challenge myself and did a hard workout.  I hadn’t been that sore in a while. 

 

And what about our souls?  Do we want to want to challenge our soul to growth?  It is much easier to drift and go on yesterday’s learnings and achievements.  But there’s new learning, challenges and dangers today; especially in our tumultuous world!  The Apostle Peter urged us to “Grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord…”  after saying, “be on your guard so that you are not carried away…” 2 Peter 3:17,18

Take a few moments to sit and ponder.

 

How are you growing in grace?

 

Grace toward yourself recognizing your frailty and allowing God to come into your frailty and transform.  Not trying to make yourself better for him.  That won’t work.

 

Grace toward others you are struggling with, to understand them, see their perspective, pray for them, forgive them and find a helpful place and time to listen and dialog.

 

How are you growing in knowledge of God?

 

Is He still #1?  How does your life show that?  “If anyone loves Me he will keep my Word.”  John 14:23

 

Where are your heart’s affections?   This takes some thought…

 

He longs to expand us and deepen us.  We need His power to even be able to receive the kind of love He has for us…today.

 

“So take diligent heed to yourselves to love the Lord your God.” Joshua 23:11

 

(Loving Him means receiving His love first.)

Soul Awe

Not Enough Pause

 

                                                                                                                                photo-Ariana Scott

“…meditate upon all his wondrous works” Ps. 105:2

 

Traveling…on the road again, it’s easy to put things on hold, to get out of the habit of pausing.  Because of

 

  • wonderful people to meet with
  • wanting to be present with them
  • not wanting to wear out our welcome where we’re staying
  • hearing of and carrying heavy burdens along with family and friends
  • recognizing in the flurry my own dullness to hear and slowness to love
  • moments of awkwardness
  • the news from colleagues of conflicts within and dangers without
  • precious celebrations with fascinating people
  • awe at our God’s creation in nature and people, ideas and adventures

 

Somehow, we’ve got to fit in pause.

 

A pause where you stop, look and listen; where you take in the wonder, the beauty, the transcendence of life that reminds you that this life is not about this life. It’s about something much bigger. The vast depths and heights of God’s love and provision that has infiltrated our souls. So, we pause and wonder and take in.  And maybe it will inform us, change us, move us to new strength, wisdom and grace.  Thank you to all who are pausing with us.  For putting your lives on pause and celebrating God’s beauty and design in creation and relationship.  His beauty in the union of David and Rachel, and later this month Kelvin and Stephanie and in December Luke and Megan!  We’re also celebrating Brad and Ariana’s 5 sweet years and Dan and my 35 adventurous and transoceanic years!  Wow.

 

We are pursued by His goodness and mercy.  We are realigned at the core of our being.

 

“God does great things beyond our understanding…”  Job 37:5

 

 

Soul Help, Soul Warning

Soul Vapor

“I could try to outrun the sun with my superhuman striving. I could try to hide in the dark with my subhuman shame.” Leeana Tankersley

 

What will it take to stop us?  To get us to think about what we’re thinking about; to grasp what we’ve been given?  Our rush to activity or our search for hiding places can rule us.

A few years back, I was jogging past a graveyard on a lazy summer morning thinking about what the day held, I tried to decipher what was worth worrying about.  The morning was a bit misty and the graves to my left quite obtrusive on a hill facing me, staring. As I passed by, I imagined I was being watched, examined and spoken to.  It was an alarming thought.  What might they say?!  How many of those buried people even had the privilege to take time to jog when they were alive?  How did they spend their lives and were they glad?  What would they do differently if they could?  What would they say to me?

 

I’m compelled to write on their behalf.  To shout what they might say.  We’ll be on that hill under the ground in a few short years!  I’m compelled to write for the ones who will join us on this planet; for my future grandkids. That they would see the end from the beginning, embrace it and live it wisely.

 

Can we ever get our heads around the idea that our lives are so short?!  Those feelings of, “where did that month go, or that week of vacation?” When I want to suspend the moments, the talks, the sweet looks, the lingering, the dialog.  I want to go back and say something else or not say it.  I want a chance to embrace more of what’s going on and enter in or bow out more gracefully.  There’s always too much for us to take in in a day.  That’s the vapor…it’s there, you hardly see it, and then it’s gone. That’s us.

 

Our hearts get fickle, anxious, greedy, tangled and weighed down…and we just don’t really believe that the next life is much more important.  You know, if you want to know what you really believe (not what you say you believe) look at what you’re living for; what you’re most anxious about; what you think about most. And walah! you’re busted.

 

We need to “escape into the truth”! (Alexander Chee) Away from the whirling dervish of life and give attention to the unseen parts of our being to reorient ourselves.

 

How can you plan your escape into truth; so that the rest of your earthly vapor prepares you for what will last forever?

It’s a matter of time.  Stop now, find a space and place to ponder your vapor. (James 4)

It’s a matter of time, until your life dispels into the beyond.

Then what will you say to the one jogging flippantly past your grave?!

Soul direction, Soul Help, Soul Warning

Soul Future

As we grapple with and embrace God’s incredible grace, we are free to be forgiven, to walk in joy instead of shame and rather than judge others, we can love.  What a relief and what a gift!

 

This is my stance before God – justified freely forever!

 

SO THAT I can now live a different kind of life.   Because I have freely received, I can live in obedience.  That’s the point, the reason He saved us, so we are free to live for Him and not for ourselves.  And that’s ironically always better for me!

 

“We must stop using the fact that we cannot earn grace (whether for justification or for sanctification) as an excuse for not energetically seeking to receive grace. Having been found by God, we then become seekers of ever fuller life in him. Grace is opposed to earning, but not to effort.”  Dallas Willard

 

If not, why would He say,

 

“Why do you call me Lord, Lord, and do not the things I say?” (Luke 6:46)

 

So, although there are end time judgments that won’t concern us, there is one we need to take note of.

 

The Judgment Seat of Christ will focus on the believer’s words, works, and faithfulness.

 

“So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil.” 2 Cor. 5:9,10

 

Though we are freely given eternal life, we are responsible for what we do with the life God gives us on earth.  How we need His grace for this!

 

“If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit” Gal. 5:25

 

“…each one’s work will become manifest, for the Day will disclose it, because it will be revealed by fire, and the fire will test what sort of work each one has done. If the work that anyone has built on the foundation survives, he will receive a reward. If anyone’s work is burned up, he will suffer loss, though he himself will be saved…”  1 Cor. 3:13-15

 

“So then each of us will give an account of himself to God.” Romans 14:12

 

“… don’t receive the grace of God in vain”! 2 Cor. 6:1

 

Picture yourself at the end of your life; insert yourself into your future…what will you wish you’d have been and done?

What will you regret?

 

What can you do now?

 

“If anyone loves Me, he will keep My word…”  John 14:23

 

Difficulty to opportunity, Soul Warning

Soul “Not Enough”

A very popular and effective taunt to our souls is, “You’re not enough.”  Not enough for your own responsibilities, for those you’re responsible for; for your job, for your personal life, for anything.  So much lack, so much need, so much pressure, so many limitations.

 

 

 

I’ve stayed there too long at times.  It’s quite convincing. Because I am so inadequate.

I think that’s the point.  We are in utter need of so many things.

“Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God who has made us adequate…” (!) 2 Cor. 3:4-6

 

Ok so we’re inadequate yet He makes us adequate.  How does that happen and why don’t I feel adequate?

 

I wonder how the little boy who brought his lunch felt when he offered it to feed the thousands of people.  I wonder if he felt adequate.  I doubt it!  It’s ludicrous to think it would make a difference.  How often am I there thinking, “how are you ever going to make a difference in this sea of need?”

 

What good would it do? What I have is nothing or very little in contrast to the need.  That’s exactly what Jesus wants us to bring to him.  The bit that we have.  Our “nothing”! We offer and He multiplies.  When we need to give and we don’t have much, we bring our little lunch, and let Him take it and do something with it.    I don’t have to be adequate but with Him, I’m made adequate. 

It’s quite freeing.

So, although what I bring to a situation, to a conversation, to a crisis, to a job, to a person, is and always will be inadequate, next to Him we’re in it together.  And He’s the focus.  I show up with my “I don’t know if this is anything, but here…”  I offer, I watch, I engage with Him.  I wait. I expect His work.  It may not look at all like I thought, but he receives what we bring and expands it.

 

Actually, the boy may not have had the guts to bring it at all.  The disciples just mention it as almost nothing.  But Jesus received it.

“One of his disciples, Andrew, Simon Peter’s brother, said to him, “There is a boy here who has five barley loaves and two fish, but what are they for so many?”  John 6:8, 9

 

So what you have in your hand, the experience, time, talent, skills, trials or goods, may seem like next to nothing.  It may be inadequate for what your day may need.  But we bring it and rely on Him for what He wants to make of it.

 

So my inadequacy is actually a great reminder to me of where to turn to make me adequate!

 

Flip the switch:  When the overwhelming comes your way, telling you you’re inadequate, you can give thanks for the reminder and turn to the All Adequate One.

 

As Saint Benedict put it, “Always we begin again.”