“I could try to outrun the sun with my superhuman striving. I could try to hide in the dark with my subhuman shame.” Leeana Tankersley
What will it take to stop us? To get us to think about what we’re thinking about; to grasp what we’ve been given? Our rush to activity or our search for hiding places can rule us.
A few years back, I was jogging past a graveyard on a lazy summer morning thinking about what the day held, I tried to decipher what was worth worrying about. The morning was a bit misty and the graves to my left quite obtrusive on a hill facing me, staring. As I passed by, I imagined I was being watched, examined and spoken to. It was an alarming thought. What might they say?! How many of those buried people even had the privilege to take time to jog when they were alive? How did they spend their lives and were they glad? What would they do differently if they could? What would they say to me?
I’m compelled to write on their behalf. To shout what they might say. We’ll be on that hill under the ground in a few short years! I’m compelled to write for the ones who will join us on this planet; for my future grandkids. That they would see the end from the beginning, embrace it and live it wisely.
Can we ever get our heads around the idea that our lives are so short?! Those feelings of, “where did that month go, or that week of vacation?” When I want to suspend the moments, the talks, the sweet looks, the lingering, the dialog. I want to go back and say something else or not say it. I want a chance to embrace more of what’s going on and enter in or bow out more gracefully. There’s always too much for us to take in in a day. That’s the vapor…it’s there, you hardly see it, and then it’s gone. That’s us.
Our hearts get fickle, anxious, greedy, tangled and weighed down…and we just don’t really believe that the next life is much more important. You know, if you want to know what you really believe (not what you say you believe) look at what you’re living for; what you’re most anxious about; what you think about most. And walah! you’re busted.
We need to “escape into the truth”! (Alexander Chee) Away from the whirling dervish of life and give attention to the unseen parts of our being to reorient ourselves.
How can you plan your escape into truth; so that the rest of your earthly vapor prepares you for what will last forever?
It’s a matter of time. Stop now, find a space and place to ponder your vapor. (James 4)
It’s a matter of time, until your life dispels into the beyond.
Then what will you say to the one jogging flippantly past your grave?!